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...aven't increased is because the commercial isn't depressing enough. We need something to make the consumers believe that the world is horrible so our products will be an escape from reality. And I think I have the answer."We need not a depressing commercial, but a depressing TV show."I have connections with famed cartoonist Sean MacFurthine, creator of the acclaimed show 'Fat Dumb Family Man'. He has agreed to help us by creating the most depressing, melancholy TV show ever created."The show's name? 'American Sad'. It is about a CIA agent named Stan who is also a family man. He lives with his wife, Francine, his son, Steve and his daughter, Hayley along with a talking goldfish and an alien. And the show is nothing but miserable and depressing occurences in their family lives.""That's the worst idea for a show I've ever heard.""You're fired too! Sean has created us a pilot episode so we can see first hand what a great marketing tool this cartoon will be."The CEO put in another video tape and let the show begin.Bad Morning USA,I've got a feeling that it's gonna be a horrible day,That cloud in the sky has a frown on his face,And he's taking a big crap on the whole human race!Boy, it's sure a pain to say,Bad Morning USA.Bad Morning USA!Stan crawled his way out of bed, observing the frantic downpour of rain beating against the window."Oh crap, I'm so miserable."His wife slowly awoke. "Honey.""Oh, Francine. Life is a neverending spiral of despair. There never is a...
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